So, I just learned today that your gone. Looking back on all of those conversations when you so jokingly said you were going to hell arn't so funny anymore. I'm sitting here, typing barely seeing the keyboard, because I know I'll never be able to say goodbye.

You and I dated, oh so long ago. Do you remember when I got grounded because you left a hickey on my neck? I do. Even though we broke up, you and me were good friends. Hell, you might not have ever realized that I veiwed you as one of my Best Friends. You never let me down, whenever I needed you. Heck, even my fiance liked you. There was even a conversation, back when I first met J, that if it didn't work out, we would give our relationship another try. It hurts so much to think that that could never happen now(J don't take that wrong, i'd have never left you, I love you).

You were going to turn 21 soon, wern't you? You were so young. You were one of the youngest guys I ever dated. And to tell you the truth, If I wasn't stuck 2 states away, i'd be right there with Josh and Jerry and Sam, especially if we find out it is the hospitals fault. You shouldn't have left because of some stupid Pneumonia. You were strong enough to beat it. I HATE THEM. It's all their fault that I can't come and see you during Christmas.

You had a way of making me feel sexy and beautiful, just the way you would look at me. Even when I went through my "ugly" faze, as long as I was with you and your brother, I felt beautiful. I miss you already.

I'm sorry I didn't call very much, I regret every second that I thought I didn't have time. I wish I could fix it.

I'm sorry. I miss you, and I love you, not only as a friend, because you are like family.